Forgotten Memories

another beginning.

2007-01-20T00:08:00.000+08:00

another beginning.

I just realised; I haven't posted in nearly two months xD

But it's been a busy few weeks for me. For those who don't know, I'm now in ACJC, and it's a real blast, from orientation, to campfire, and even lectures. Especially my orientation group (or OG, for short) who've been great pals for the past couple of weeks! And of course the OG Leaders, our fun mentors :)

College life is really different from secondary school life, I've realised. For one, you get more breaks in between lessons (but trust me, it ain't fun when the breaks drag for two hours or so o.0) and instead of sitting in class all day you get to go to lectures and tutorials. Which I think I prefer, since it's always nice to take a walk after lessons- sort of wakes you up if you were falling asleep xD

And for the first time, I get a subject combination I actually like- save for Chinese and Maths, which are necessary evils- but everything else is better already. College education really puts a whole new spin on History, Literature, and Economics ;) And for those who don't know, I'm also back into debating- and like everything else I've described, it's a great experience too.

The culture in AC is new, but I like it already. We have chapel every Monday, devotions on the other days, and mercifully- almost everyone seems to speak English. Which is probably the only language I can actually speak properly xD

It's a new life now, but I'm enjoying almost every minute of it.

week.

2006-11-30T22:37:00.000+08:00

week.

It's been quite a week to start off the holiday, I admit :)

First there was Grad night, and thanks to the planning committee; everyone had a ball of a time. Nothing better to round up 4 years than a night of partying and just hanging out with your friends. Sigh. The hardest part, of course, is saying goodbye. But as we move along, let's not forget, shall we? The minutes fade, but memories never.

Then we had class chalet! ^^ Hours of barbequeing, playing video games, and yes, card games ;) Nothing like a get-together to enjoy everyone's company for the last time. And Mrs Song dropped by with Megan, (who is really adorable. Period.) who charmed everyone in the room. Well, everyone except us guys- we were too busy playing Winning Eleven and rooting for our favourite teams xD And it's a riot, at the end. Good times for all.

405 forever, people :)

And we have one month to go now! Christmas, choir party, and endless movie-watching with friends. It's going to be quite the holiday...

P.S Oh yes, to my classmates, sorry I couldn't make it for the second day- I fell sick :(

answers.

2006-11-16T23:39:00.000+08:00

answers.

Straight to the point today.

First, GCE O Levels are ending; finally, the light at the end of the tunnel! It's been a long haul, but the end is in sight. Let's hope four years of hard work has paid off, since we've all invested so much time and effort into this final gauntlet.

And now,

To my critics. I don't need to defend myself against your onslaught of accusations. If this is who you want to make me out to be, then so be it. The truth will come to light eventually. It just goes to show what sort of person you are. I won't stoop to your level, so go ahead, and rant all you want.

Finally,

To you. I don't bear a grudge. I'm not even sure how all this started. Perhaps we could talk?

And lastly!

To all my friends in 405, all the best for the last papers. We'll get through :) Thanks to all for the support, and a special thanks to Chin Yan, and Nelson Yeo, for their respective help.

yawn.

2006-09-30T19:31:00.000+08:00

yawn.

I'm not sure why, but after every major exam, I feel like I deserve a much-earned break. That usually means endless hours in front of the computer or a book, or hanging out with my friends, but this time, I get the nagging feeling that it isn't quite over yet.

Wait. It really isn't over yet. >.<

Personally, I think it's rather depressing to blog about exams, particularly since they seem like a malevolent spectre whirling around everyone. But to be realistic, they're only 7 weeks away, and unfortunate as it is, they're determining our life. Sometimes I think it's quite ridiculous, how your life can depend on the events of a mere 7 weeks.

Which means, of course, that I can't blog for much longer if I want to focus on my studies. Just 7 weeks, and then I'll be free once again. So till then, I think my blog shall be in hiatus. To all my friends taking the 'O's, all the best to each of you; I'll see you all soon.

pretend.

2006-09-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

pretend.

Who are you?

No, really. Who are you truly?

You don't know? You're not alone; this is a world shaped by pretences and masks. Day by day we live increasingly for others, becoming different people to different acquaintances. Mask after mask, we develop new personalities to assimilate into different societies. How many of us can claim to be completely true to yourself? How far would you go to deny your entire being for the sake of acceptance? Is this hypocrisy? Obviously so.

Sometimes there is no choice, even if we want to be sincere. Sometimes we are forced by circumstance to become something we're not, to present a different self to others. The sad thing is that our society doesn't take kindly to people who are different in anyway. You don't blame the chameleon for changing its colours, because it has to protect itself from agressors. The same lies true here. The tragedy? Not everyone will understand this need.

There is a place in your mind where all your selfs congregate. And there the monumental conflict begins: which of them is you?

Eventually you will understand: You can fool the world, but you cannot fool yourself, or your heart. Because in there lies the one true answer. And that, is truly you.

a day.

2006-09-13T21:58:00.000+08:00

a day.

6.00 Wake up. Wash, rinse, repeat.

7.00 Arrive at school. Chat with the guys till....

7.25 Assembly. By the way, congrats to you, Sam :)

7.45 Additional Maths. Did a test, felt good about it till the last question. Then I panicked -.-

8.45 Chemistry. Keep eyes open.... eyes close.... eyes open.... eyes close...

9.45 Chinese. Do absolutely nothing productive, meaningful, useful, or effective. Just sit around, loaf around, and study random subjects.

10.50 Recess. Salvation! Played cards with the guys and gals, won a couple of rounds too :) Then recess ends. Oh well.

11.25 English. In 406. Sigh.

12.30 Chemistry supplementary. Eyes open.... eyes close.... eyes open... eyes close...

1.30 End of school. Cards for a while, then lunch with Honghui.

And they say school is supposed to be our second home ;) Well, alright. Almost.

heart and mind.

2006-09-07T22:01:00.000+08:00

heart and mind.

What determines our actions? More so than anything else, this decision lies in two very different spectrums. The heart, and the mind. These two entities are halves of the human psyche, each an opposing influence that determines our moves, our every step. Too often, we must make a difficult choice to choose between either.

Think of the heart as red. It is an epitome of feeling, emotion, passion, and even destruction. The heart does not think. It feels. It is the soul of a human, the conscience, the call to act rather than wait. There is no decision to be deliberated- only immediate risk and action to be taken. The heart is impulsive by nature, but it is far from simple as many like to think. The heart encourages one to follow emotion, to do what you feel. To the heart, its greatest goal is to see yourself live with no regrets, because to the heart, as long as you always act in the interest of your feelings, you will never be sorry for yourself.

There is a great tendency to picture the heart as selfish. In fact, the heart is anything but selfish. The heart cares about others, about the social circle. It is sensitive because it cares about emotion. It feels, both for itself and for others. This works both ways for the heart: it will care for its friends and social circle, but it will destroy its foes with its terrible rage. The heart's feelings can go to extremes- love to the point of obsession, hatred to the point of destruction. This is because the heart has litle or no control over the very forces it is defined by. But this doesn't mean the heart is wrong- the heart also represents all your ideals, your dreams, your true feelings and goals. And these are fine things to follow and chase. To sacrifice your heart would be equivalant to sacrificing all these. To sacrifice the heart is to sacrifice joy, love, and hope.

Think of the mind as blue. Blue stands for everything that red is not, just as the mind is the ultimate opposite to the heart. To the mind, there is no room for emotion, feeling, or sensitivity. These are foolish ideals for the weak-minded, because they cannot see the bigger picture. That is what the mind is constantly after: the greater good, the bigger picture. The mind preaches thought over action, which is what the heart opposes. Why? The mind is all about thought and decisions simply because by thinking, you weigh the pros and cons of all your actions. To the mind, by thinking, you have ensured your total security and have fullproofed your plans and actions. You cannot fail if everything has been thought out carefully. Practicality is the mind's game.

The common misconception of the mind is that it is cold, unfeeling, even evil and self-centred. Sometimes this may be true, depending on the person in question, but oftentimes the mind is just looking out for a nobler cause, the greater good. A proper mind seeks out the best for everyone by sacrificing the short-term gain. What may be a cold visage is actually a well-thought out plan that is focused on helping all. But of course, the mind is cunning by nature, and sometimes its potential is used instead for individualism and its own ends. Like the heart, the mind can also reach extremes- it can become cold to the point of isolation, and cunning to the point of evil. This doesn't mean, however, that the mind is wrong- the mind represents everything about knowledge, opportunity, about making the best choice possible with all the available information. To sacrifice it would be to lose your options, to lose your sanity, even.

At this time, think and see: which have you based your decisions around? Sometimes, there may not even be a choice to make- but a compromise. Feeling defined by thought. Thought defined by feeling. It is old advice, but have we really taken it to our heart and mind?

confessions of an iPod lover.

2006-09-01T22:22:00.000+08:00

confessions of an iPod lover.

The title sounds so.... tabloid-y. But then I can't think of anything better, so it'll have to do. I just realised that I can't really live without my iPod. As a lover of most (if not all) genres of music, it really helps to have an all-in-one device to store your songs in, and better still if they're all accessible with the touch of a button and a turn of a wheel. It sure is more convenient than changing discs every couple of minutes.

Sigh! And now it's crashed on me, the unfaithful friend. I'll have to take it back to the iShop for servicing, which probably means a wait ranging from a wearying week to a miserable month. -.- Hopefully I'll be able to profit from all this... perhaps I'll get a new iPod Video? *hopeful smile* :)

See you all when I get back from Comec tomorrow, an IT convention of sorts.

Until then, may you learn to appreciate what you have before it's lost.

teachers.

2006-08-31T20:21:00.000+08:00

teachers.

I don't remember having laughed so much at any of the previous Teacher's Day Celebrations at school; maybe it's my last year here, so it holds some significance for me. But either way, it was certainly highly amusing. Particularly the skit with the teachers performing as the 'typical' students they encounter everyday! xD The juxtaposition of the teachers and 'students' really made things quite a barrel of laughs, particularly since you're seeing it from the third-person's point of view. Honestly, you don't see the discipline master being reprimanded for eating marshmellows in class by the vice-prinicipal everyday, do you? ;)

Kudos to the teachers for performing the skit; it's really laugh-out-loud when you think about your teachers in school shorts. And yes, by popular demand, two particular teachers took to the stage in song, with a rock band (of sorts) to back them up! 'Tis days like these that give the profession a different, more 'fun' light.

It's a calling, no doubt. But here's going out to all the teachers for their efforts over the years. No school can be what it is without them, after all :)

darkness.

2006-08-27T22:57:00.000+08:00

darkness.

No rest for the weary
No hope for the sick
No laughter for the living
No requiem for the dead.

Struggling with A Maths does make one a little more... poetic, it seems. -.-

tension.

2006-08-21T15:05:00.000+08:00

tension.

I'm not very optimistic about tomorrow. Yes, I know it's literature, but I'm still quite worried. It's the deja vu feeling of walking into the hall, and shivering (not from cold, but fear) as you wait for the paper to arrive.

"You may begin."

So it begins. This week, English and the Humanities. The next, Maths and Science. I'm not particularly fond of this arrangement (it's either too content-based or too cumbersome) but we don't have much of a choice here. This is the Prelims- the first exam that will determine our first three months after the dreaded O Levels.

Now, I really ought to study- time is fleeting, after all. I'll be back somewhere next week, when the exams are either over, or close to it, anyway.

Until then, may you understand that there's more to people than meets the eye.

;)

randomness.

2006-08-18T22:03:00.000+08:00

randomness.

I can't believe I'm doing this, but I think I need a break from my studying anyway xD

Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head. Dont read the questions below before you answer and tag 5 people to do this.

1. Samuel
2. Elizabeth
3. Sharmaine, my sister
4. Desmond
5. Chin Yan
6. Ming Ting
7. Nelson Quak
8. Pin Hui
9. Jonathan Lee
10. Hazel
11. Christine
12. Zizhao
13. Benedict Heng
14. Darren Tay
15. Mr. Pah
16. Eve
17. Darren Kwek
18. Chong Yang
19. Marilyn
20. Nicole

When did you meet 14?
xD I don't believe this... I first met him last year during the Secondary 3 inter-class debate, where he was judging. Later he became a mentor to me and the debating team.

What would you do if you never met 1?
If I never met Sam? I would never have known that Sec 2s could be so mature! xD Nah, but seriously, without Sam I'd be missing one of my favourite juniors :( And it'd be difficult to find a person to talk to that can understand me well.

What would you do if 9 and 20 dated?
*trying to stop laughing* Nicole and Jon Lee. Let's hope neither of them read this ;) But honestly, I really can't imagine something like that xD

Did you ever like 19?
Are you kidding? CY would murder me! (And I'm not exaggerating.)

Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
*faints* My bubbly, fiery-speaking junior and my fists-first-talk-later classmate. I think this does not equate. xD

Describe 3.
My sister? She's smart, as stubborn as I am, and quick-witted. Sounds like a potential debater :)

Do you think 8 is attractive?
What the- xD Well, she has this sassy style about her, and she's got a streak of cool, so yes, she probably is attractive enough to acquire quite a queue of admirers, probably.

Tell me something about 7?
By far the most, dynamic, eloquent, and aggressive speaker I've ever seen. Enough said :)

Do you know any of 12's family?
Actually, no? *sheepish smile*

What's 8's favourite?
Well.... I can't say, for now ;)

What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you?
*laughs* Sounds highly unlikely, but I'd honestly not know what to do if it happened.

What language does 15 speak?
I've never heard him speak any language apart from English. Well, maybe the occasional bit of Chinese...

Who is 9 going out with?
xD I don't know, but I sure would like to know. Very much indeed ;)

How old is 16 now?
16. lol.

When was the last time you talked to 13?
Today, during lunch. Discussing our futures, as usual xD

Who's 2's favourite band/singer?
I just realised I have no idea... since the person in question is more of a dance enthusiast, I reckon the band/singer must compose something to do with that... sorry -.-

Would you date 4?
I am straight, thank you very much.

Would you date 7?
Refer to above answer. Read it again. And again.

Is 15 single?
He's married!!

What is 10's last name?
Chew.

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 11?
Erm. Actually, I'm in love with Cambridge now xD

What school does 3 goes to?
Punggol Primary School (Still holds fond memories for me^^)

Where does 6 live?
Somewhere in Singapore? xD I'm not sure... sorry, MT!

What's your favourite thing about 5?
He's a mature, reasonable person, easy to converse with, and understanding. He even shares my ideas! Thanks, pal^^

Have you seen 1 naked?
No!! *collapses in shock*

Name 5 people to do this
(1) Chin Yan
(2) Ming Ting
(3) Sherina
(4) Sharmaine
(5) Shinna

at the turn of the tide.

2006-08-17T20:28:00.000+08:00

at the turn of the tide.

5 days left. And counting.

Honestly, I must say that either Singapore's English standard is taking a dip, or the Ministry of Education has a misconception of what 'O' Levels means. Today we took our English Oral examinations, and the topic was utterly, shockingly, trivial. Asking a question like "Where do you like to go and eat?" is something I could throw at a Primary 6 student, and the chap probably wouldn't even flinch.

Of course, I don't expect university-level topics like globalisation- that would be out of the question for 16-year olds- but certainly we're mature enough to discuss social issues? What about subjects like youth culture? Or the advent of the Internet? Even the topics that the previous classes got, like fame, fashion, and ambition sound far better than our topic, on mobile food catering services (>.<) and entrepreneurship. Alright, at least they didn't give us something on school uniforms...

Then again, maybe we're just not that fantastic in English, and anyway, not every Sec 4 is a debater xD. Sigh.

Anyway, the Preliminary Examinations are less than a week away. And I just realised that I'm still grappling with organic chemistry, trying to memorise all my physics formulae, and hoping beyond hope that my terrible loci and geometrical skills won't ruin my e.maths. But with only 5 days left, I'm making some progress, at least.

With the end of the oral examinations, this is the turn of the tide. The Prelims, and soon, the O Levels, will begin. From here on, will the path lead to abysmal failure, or will the odds be overcome, somehow?

Once again, time will tell. I can only work...

And hope.

considering.

2006-08-14T22:21:00.000+08:00

considering.

I've been facing a couple of dilemnas of late.

One of the reasons is because I just got my Chinese O Level results back last week. I got an A2. Miraculously. (There has to be a reason why my blog is completely in English, right?) But even more unbelievable is the fact that I got a Distinction for my Chinese Oral. (Yes, you're reading the blog of the person who can barely speak Chinese without stuttering or stammering xD)

So herein comes the inevitable question: should I retake the exam, or not? With a Distinction, quite a few teachers and my classmates feel that I should give it a second shot, and hopefully I get an A1. The chances, after all, are increased because of the Distinction. Not retaking, according to them, would be a terrible waste. On the other side, my parents, tuition teacher, and a few of my other classmates and friends tell me I should be content and not retake it.

I thought about it, and I think, well, I only have so much luck. There's little point in pushing my luck, or tempting fate- after all I have 6 other subjects I need my remaining luck for (I seem to be talking about unreliable luck as a resource suddenly xD). But seriously speaking, I think my Chinese can't improve much more than this. I grew up in an English environment, and forevermore English will be my first language.

So there! *ticks 'not retaking' on the class register* One subject down. Six more to go... (It's not easy to sound optimistic when you know they're only a week away >.<)

The other dilemna? Oh, it's nothing... nothing...

rethinking.

2006-08-11T19:28:00.000+08:00

rethinking.

Disclaimer: Once again, as with any such post, I must inform the reader that I sincerely do not wish to offend, insult, or accuse anyone or any institution with this post. Therefore, no names are mentioned. As with any post of this nature, my motive is merely to inform and to show the students' side of the story. If anyone feels offended or misrepresented in this post, I offer my sincerest apologies and hope that you will take it in your stride. This is not something I will do often. All quotes are in italics and are not written by me.

Dedicated to anonymous.

I think it is fitting, at this time, to rethink the roles of Student Leaders in the school society. What purpose did they originally serve? Does that purpose hold true today? What are the expectations placed on them? And how will they find the thin balance between serving and leading that all leaders must face?

Let me answer these questions with my views, the views of not just me alone, but of a great many people, namely- we. The students whom you were chosen to lead.

Firstly, it has always, always been my strongest belief that Student Leaders were chosen for a key purpose- to function as the link between the teachers, and the student body. Beyond that, their objectives, of course, would be to maintain order, to facillitate the creation of an ideal learning environment, and ultimately to represent the views and wishes of the electorate- the students who elected them into power.

Power, is, of course, a fickle gift. Too often, it is dependant on its source, and thus the wielder of this power becomes emburdened with great expectations, responsibilities, and pressure. Many will argue that this pressure, coming from both ends of the spectrum- teachers and students- is intolerably burdening.

At this stage, let me remind you of one thing: all of you have made that choice to accept your role. Your responsibility. Your pressure. If you didn't want all of it, you had a choice to reject the offer. I know of some who did, and they're doing fine.

You see, your role is far more complex than many would believe. It is a challenge, I realise, to live up to expectations and yet live true to yourself. It is a mature role for people so young. But once more I must remind you: it is your choice, your fate, and now, your burden. You must first accept it, and then learn to hold it, rather than bitterly blame everybody but yourselves for it.

I will not pretend to know everything that the teachers expect from you Student Leaders. All I know is SLs are expected to 'behave better, score better, and commitments are piled on their shoulders'

What of the students? What do we expect from you? We are not very demanding people. We don't tell you off when you don't do well- we cry with you. We don't pressure you to behave better- we sympathise. And unless necessary for schoolwork, we don't throw commitments on your shoulders. You are us and we are you. We are one. Students. More than anything else we see you as our fellow schoolmates and friends. All we ask, is that you fufill the task you were given with when you accepted the tie and badge. The task? Do for us what we cannot do ourselves. Represent us. Stand up for us. Rather than simply tell us off for breakng school rule no.121, find out why we are so resentful and rebellious. Think!! Are we so unreasonable and childish? Perhaps some of us are, but beyond that visage is a mind of reason- reasons that are yours to discover, as our leaders and representatives. When you come down to our level and understand us, we will come to understand you. As leaders, you must take the vital first step. Is it not the defining trait of the leader to dare to be different?

You may say we don't care. You may say we are selfish. But then, think about it. If that is true, then that is why you are leaders and we are not. For this, I, as a student, hold you in high regard already. I know you all face tremendous pressure from everyone- teacher and student alike. I may not understand fully, but as I mentioned, we are all students, and to some extent we know what you are going through, even if we don't show it. But if you choose to denounce us as a selfish, uncaring population that will never understand- so let it be. We will be that way. You are leaders, after all- we will follow you.

In closing, let me offer advice. As with all advice, it is yours to take or leave as you please, and it is only the opinion of one person. Take more initiative as leaders to help the students. Through this you will win our respect once we see the change in action. Look at yourselves through our eyes, and try to understand why we don't listen all the time. Search down in your student's heart, the heart we all share, and you will answer that. Lastly. Don't give up on us, and we won't give up on you. Take my advice not as criticism, but as the encouragement you claim we don't give. If I had given up, I would not bother writing this post. But I see hope, and I see potential. You are a noble lot of people, let me tell you. It is never easy to be a leader. But I have faith in you. All of you.

And that is enough to give me, and all of us, hope.

Final disclaimer: Once more I shall say this. The author has absolutely no intent of insulting, offending, or accusing anyone in this post. He has merely offered his two cent's worth, and if anyone feels misrepresented or offended in any way, I offer my deepest, sincerest apologies. As I said, I will not do this often.

tribute.

2006-08-09T00:15:00.000+08:00

tribute.

It's 11.30 pm. In half an hour's time, Singapore will be 41 years old- young for a country, but old enough to have seen at least two generations grow, and a third one (us) emerge to take its first step into the larger world.

In fitting fashion, I'll do a short tribute on how far we've progressed, as a nation. As any societal analyst worth his/her salt knows, we'll have to examine this on three levels: social, political, and economical. But today let's delve into social and economical, I'll leave politics for another time.

Firstly, for a city-state that is probably one of the smallest nations in the world, we've come a long way in forty years of independance. No one would have thought that we, an island with no resources, could have emerged on the world economy with such force, or on the international stage with such gusto. Leaders, past and present alike, have shown the world the difference that this tiny isle can make.

Economically speaking, we're one of the world's most thriving economies. As the PM said in his message, we're able to ride on the growth of Asian powerhouses like China, and even now, we still attract investors to our shores. In terms of living standards, we rank 11th out of 111 nations- an extraordinary feat considering our meagre resources and land size.

But as we grow as a nation, let us examine this: have we progressed as a society? Can we claim the same societal advancement, the same paradigm shift that has occured in the West and abroad? Think about it for a moment.

Europe reached a peak in the 17-18th centuries, when her nations and people reached a stage we now call the Renaissance, or the Enlightenment Era. People became 'enlightened', exposed to new forms of philosophy, culture, arts, and ideas. Their peoples became part of a society dedicated to the advancement of human life as a whole, to make existence meaningful. It was during this era that some great works were made, from beautiful music to expressive art, from stirring novels to powerful philosophies. Simply put, it was the era of great thinkers.

Can we claim the same credit in Singapore? One might argue that such an era, such a Golden Age, if you will, can only occur once the nation in question has reached a certain level of economic prosperity. Singapore may not be the greatest economy in the world, but surely we have reached a commendable peak already?

Such a paradigm shift as I described above has never occured here. Evidence, you ask? Simply step into any neighbourhood school and try to discuss what I just mentioned with the students. I reckon you're lucky if an entire class listens to you. It's no wonder that the study of Humanities and the Arts is overlooked so often these days. An entire generation has grown to be so practical that they might have lost the essence of creativity and ideas altogehter. Initiative is forgotten, and who else can we blame but ourselves when foreigners complain that we lack all these traits?

The evolution of a society is dependant on a lot of factors. In this case, I myself am left to wonder: what will it take to awaken our society? Educational reform? Economical growth? Societal evolution? Governmental policy? Or perhaps all of these?

And so I muse on. But until I discover the answer....

It's 12 am. Happy National Day to you all.

encounter.

2006-08-06T19:40:00.000+08:00

encounter.

This will be my shortest post yet, because I'm just recounting the event today. I was picking out books in Kinokuniya, when a staff member (the manager, most probably) told me to take my book and clear a path in the area. Clear a path? For whom?

There were plenty of clues, if I had been observant. If only I had noticed the several white state cars outside the shopping centre. Or the strangely increased number of CISCO security guards. Or the announcement telling ALL staff to meet in the meeting room.

Obviously, this was no ordinary person. How ordinary can you be, anyway, when you have 10 or so Secret Service guards protecting you at all times? The Indonesian President, Mr Yudhoyono, was here to shop! At a bookstore, no less!

I was one of the few curious souls who kept trying to grab a glimpse of the important guest, and fortunately the guards caught on to my intentions, allowing me to have a clear view of the President (how dangerous can a 16-year-old like me possibly be? xD), busy reading magazines.

So, it seems, politicians have a life too xD

idiosyncracies.

2006-08-04T19:58:00.000+08:00

idiosyncracies.

Or hypocrisy?

Last night I went with some friends to our school's Drama Festival- and though I had my reservations initially, I didn't regret going for it. The first performance, Lanterns Never Go Out, turned out to be a thoughtful, emotional story of a boy searching for identity within a world that forces him to deny his values and beliefs to ascend the social ladder. Is the culture that he has known truly hypocrisy? Or is it merely his own idiosyncracies that stop him from succeeding? The play challenges the viewer to decide for himself, and in a tragic, yet moving finale, a scene is shown of the protagonist playing a simple hand-game with his other self- a sign of lost innocence in a societal culture that, eventually, brings you to a disturbing disillusionment with yourself.

Of course, the greatest tragedy of all would be that most people in this particular audience wouldn't understand the very abstract and symbolic play xD But I like it anyway!

The second performance was the much-awaited Xinmin Story, supposedly a play chronicling the rise of Xinmin from a Chinese elementary school into a secondary school poised to succeed. It turned out to be an opera- and in Chinese xD Which means, of course, I was forced to rely on the very convenient subtitles. It was an admirable effort by all involved, and a faithful recollection of our school, complete with elaborate dances and beautiful voices (by our own choir no less!)

Speaking of choir, today was quite a sad, yet uplifting day for me. Today marked the end of my 4 years in Xinmin Chorale, which I still miss very much (refer to my earlier post 'party or CIP?'). It's such a momentous occasion, walking up to receive your plaque (and listening to all you juniors call out 'Uncle!' xD). Thanks to the Committee for all your wonderful gifts and encouragement; it'll be something we shall keep close to our hearts forever.

Yet today also marked the beginnining of the end of secondary school life. Now I have graduated from my CCA. Soon I will graduate from my school... and who knows what else awaits?

The road goes ever on and on...

democracy?

2006-07-26T22:30:00.000+08:00

democracy?

Disclaimer: Yes, I know. I'm treading on dangerous ground by doing this, but I feel that I should say something. I won't be defamatory; this post only contains my thoughts and suggestions. I will not direct any harsh remarks to anyone or the school either, so I hope that anyone reading this will not take this post the wrong way.

A couple of days ago we had the annual Student Leader Executive Committee Election. As with any election, this came after nearly two weeks of fierce campaigning, electoral battle, and of course, the usual, unavoidable posters flooding the school walls. I should know; I was a campaign manager for an SL in the previous election.

Firstly, I must congratulate the high standard of campaigning that all 11 SL candidates have shown us. I'll be the first to tell you that it isn't easy to convince people to vote for you, when they'd rather be eating lunch than listening. And speaking on stage to a crowd of nearly a thousand ain't a walk in the park either.

But after hearing the 11 SLs make their final speech on Monday afternoon, I felt a little, well, bored. Not because I don't like elections, but rather because of what the candidates said. Nearly all of them told us the same, cliched things: about what qualities they have (responsibility, dedication, enthusiasm, etc.) or about their brilliant track record (Head of this, In-charge of that, etc).

While telling us these attributes is fine (and perhaps expected), I'd just like to point out that everyone and anyone can say those things. If anything, I felt that what made a few candidates stand out from the rest was that they had a clear PLAN for us. It's not who you are or what you've done, but rather, what you're going to do that matters. Some even went as far to tell us the current state of the SLB and the students' view of the SLs, and others proposed solutions to problems. That, I felt, was being honest and transparent- something very vital in any leader and system. By showing us that you know and understand how we feel, and then telling us what you will do to rectify the problem, you will have in fact won support from us. This is the practical, integral difference.

I'm not here to judge the SLs. I'm only an ordinary student onlooker. But just a suggestion to any SL who reads this: Listen more to the students- for we are your fellow schoolmates, after all- and be not just leaders, but also counselors and friends. Stay united, because infighting only lowers our perception of you. It's time we behaved like a real democracy, and start behaving like true leaders- leaders who will take a stand alongside students to improve the school and create the ideal learning environment.

Final note: I'll reiterate this again. The author of this post has NO intention whatsoever of insulting anyone or any institution. He is merely giving his thoughts and has not directed any harsh attacks toward anyone. If, however, anyone feels offended in any way, I offer my sincere apologies and hope that you will take it in your stride. Rest assured, I'm not going to do this often- I know I'm being watched. We all are.

defeat.

2006-07-23T20:16:00.000+08:00

defeat.

Sometimes it ain't always bitter. Today, it was bittersweet.

Yesterday I went for the Hwa Chong Invitationals, up against nine other top schools which boasted a high, unprecedented level of debating that none of my team could possibly have faced up to so quickly. And yet we dived in, swords drawn, into the heart of the competition.

Stacked against us was an intimidating lineup: Victoria JC, HCI, and even ACS (I), all schools with a fine reputation in debating. Of course we lost. Every. Last. Round. Discouraged? You bet we were. By the third match we'd already been prepared to throw in the towel, but we did our best anyway.

Defeat is bitter first, but then you realise that there's something good about bitter medicine: it makes you better. Every match taught us something, a lesson learnt through experience and the heat of the conflict. Every cloud has a silver lining. Something good springs forth from every evil, a single candle lights the darkness.

It wasn't a complete loss.

We found a new coach, and though I'll be stepping down soon, it's a reassurance for me to know that the team will progress even further now with proper training- something my batch had lacked during our two years in debating.

Now, since my term here is almost up, it's time to face my next challenge: The Big GCE Os. No more slacking; there can be no turning back. We'll all have to face our fate, and our destinies hang in the delicate balance.

May hope spring anew.

deja vu.

2006-07-19T22:07:00.000+08:00

deja vu.

That's how I felt, really.

Last year, 3E5 of 2005 hastily formed a debating team for the interclass debate competition comprising of myself and two classmates. In a twist of fate we were paired with none other than 3E2 and its formidable speakers, and sadly we lost. I didn't get Best Speaker either, which would have been a nice consolation prize.

But today was deja vu.

Today I'm still a debater, but now I am a judge, for the first time, in the same competition, in the same library, in the same atmosphere.... it's a really strange feeling, honestly. Only last year I was speaking for my first time as an amateur debater. Since then I've gone through competitions, workshops... and now I've come full circle back to where it all began for me.

Now the fate of two teams lay in my hands as they did for my seniors.

301 was paired with 305, my alma mater class of sorts, although they're probably ten times better than our original team from last year. Nelson and his team from 301 put up a solid front, immediately launching into full-length speeches on policies, principles, and yardsticks- they pulled no punches on this match, attempting to mow down their opponents in a sweeping victory. From the offset, they were set to impress. It was almost certain from their first speaker that 301 was destined to dominate.

But what 305 lacked in experience (this much was obvious), they made up for it in repeated attacks and engaging style. Shauna was a little nervous, but her calm assault on 301's first speaker was the beginning of their hopes. Junyi kept up their attack and resisted repeated attempts by the other side to bring down their case. And Khoon Liang, while not having much in terms of content, presented an excellent speech filled with emotion and stylistic elements that won the hearts of the audience (and maybe the judges? xD Nah, we're not biased, you know^^)

In contrast, 301 could really have performed better. They had the potential, and all bets were probably on them to win. Their case was solidly set up and should have stood, but they lost too many points which they either failed to or forgot to defend. Nelson held a strong front during his own speech, but it wasn't enough to turn the tide in 301's favour. Nevertheless, kudos to the 301 team for their effort put in!

In the end it was Junyi who walked away with Best Speaker and 305 with an entry ticket to the semi-finals- where they'll face a Secondary 2 team led by relatively-experienced debaters who won't be giving up anytime soon.

Deja vu. Again??

party or CIP?

2006-07-15T22:15:00.001+08:00

party or CIP?

I guess the title says it all.

We seniors went for today's choir farewell party in the expectation that we were going to have a great time having fun with our juniors before we leave. It's hard to believe I've grown to love choir after 4 years; I remember being a little reluctant when I first started (I wanted to join Media Club! Can you believe that? xD)

But its been fun for much of the four years, admittedly. We've had our ups and downs, but most would agree that its the experience that counts. I mean, while preparing for competitions and concerts is hectic, tiresome, and definitely exhausting, the payoff is pretty good (I mean the CCA points, of course^^ but its all good fun anyway) and we somehow muddled through all the way (does the Gold award count as muddling? I didn't think so too.)

Initially it wasn't what we expected. The minute we got there, we had to do CIP. Again. -.- Alright, I'll try not to complain too much (this is a blog after all and you do realise what happens to people who complain, right?) but I was really hoping the sec 4s could sort of have fun instead of picking litter. Sigh.

The rest of the party, fortunately, was better. Kudos to the new Committee for the effort put in; though they've been elected only a couple of months ago I can see that for the most part, they're an efficient and dedicated team. I think the Choir's in good hands with them, although they should have considered a plan B in case of rain, which dampened the plans for a little while. But nevertheless the activities were quite alright and we all had a few good laughs at our friends who got flour on their heads. (How did they do that?? Then again, you wouldn't laugh if you were forced to eat lemons or carrots. Raw. xD)

But something tells me this isn't the end yet. We haven't got our plaques! I thought they were giving them out today.... something new to adorn my spartan table... but I guess this means we have a prize-presentation to look forward to. Another party, anyone? ^^

beginnings.

2006-07-14T02:04:00.000+08:00

beginnings.

And to all things comes an end.

A turn of the page, and millions of thoughts unravel. Strands of fear, worry, sorrow, anger. And hope. For what is life without it? The mind lives on hope- the sole light in a darkening world. There is no substitute for a force that has driven men to do great- and often insane- deeds.

This is one of them, I guess. I'm finally setting up a blog, on the advice of my sister. On these pages will lie pieces of my mind. Strands. Emotions. Thoughts. Maybe dreams. But above all, on these pages lie a little word called hope.

And to all things comes a beginning.